Wednesday, December 23, 2009

i'm baaaaaaaaack!



my office is too cold to update properly (i wish i was wearing my mittens) but... i'm back, burned and bummed. i miss the beach! above... the view from our balcony. see why i miss it?

anyways... a proper post eventually... but not today ;)

Friday, December 11, 2009

bye! byebyebyebyebyebyebyebye

goodbye minus 92384789374 temperatures and hello jamaica...

... more importantly,

HELLO TAN!

see you in a week ;)

i saw a woman who looks exactly Brian Setzer



ok yeah, you don't have to know who Brian Setzer is.... who cares. the big issue is that i saw a chick that looked just like him yesterday. hair and everything. kinda dressed like him too... uhh, ok really random/pointless post

random BB picture dump

i doubt these pictures require 4 different posts... so enjoy a 4 in 1 deal!



quincy and i hanging out on the couch... this was after an indian buffet OD session



the last Red Bull in the office, enjoyed by me... on a lonely friday... ahem. there better be some more when i get back from vacay!



super score! Supreme for the price of crap ass gas (my usual)!



my closet is... busting open. this is only the tip of the iceburg too. you should see my shoe closet! or my t-shirt pile... that one is nuts

Monday, December 7, 2009

ew, american apparel what did you do



FAIL

zebra nails



after seeing laura's lovely zebra nails... i decided to try it. not quite as nice, but it's a start? (you'll notice my suitcase in the background... preparing for Jamaica in t-minus 5 days!)

wanna try it? ... i used OPI's Let Them Eat Rice Cake

happy birthday ces!

what birthday wouldn't be complete without a drunken birthday girl, jager bombs, weak game and a run in your stocking?

"you've got swagger with a capital S"

who really says that to a girl???

anyways. i stole bread from the kitchen and got caught... only embarrassing for 2.5 seconds. i forgot about that as soon as i ate it.... mmm bread.

hihihihihi... ces (bday princess), laura (my sister), bryce (you cannot escape me, you will be my co-worker forever!), jas, wan, kim, shoshanna, joyce, nick & more :)

anyways, what you really came for... pictures! :D



DD <3



i took this pic... then realized some creeper made his way over to laura... ha!



the claw has returned!



no one asks us about being sisters anymore!



birthday girl!





"shout me out!"





excuuuuse me, i asked for Red Bull, not Red Rain!!!



getting caught for stealing the bread was well worth it ;)



hiii jas!



KO'd in the cab

Friday, December 4, 2009

TGIF!

thats all ;)

Jersey Slore



... i mean shore ;)

i watched the whole 2 hour premiere on mtv and... now i think i have to watch the rest. it's like a car crash, you shouldn't look, but you have to. these people are ridiculous. it's basically a reality show about 8 "guidos" and "guidettes" who all stay together in a beach house at the Jersey Shore... thanks for making me watch this melissa, now i have a new horrid show to add to my list

i have never seen so many...

-fake tans -fake hair -hair gel -fake boobs -bare chests

... in one episode of a show.

they can't go 2 seconds without profanities... or the word "bro"

the guys are proud of their stupid spikey hair and the girls love it. one of them in particular wants her man to be a "tall, dark, tanned, guido juicehead"

if i met them... i would set their hair on fire...

...bro.

i got...

... new tights and i wanna wear them. they have been sitting in my drawer for a month now...

they are the sequel to the "i want" post from the summer. i loved those watercolor babies so much... (even tho they got several runs the ONLY time i wore them... f you american apparel. what good is my $42?)



anyways.

i need somewhere to wear the 2nd pair (turquoise airbrush... ahh). suggestions? too hot for jamaica...

maybe a date. any takers?

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Aruba, Jamaica... oooh



... ok just Jamaica. i just wanted to incorporate the Beach Boys in it... :P

i'll be here in just over a week for a VERY well deserved vacation... my phone will be off and my e-mails will pile up in a violent way...

right melissa? :)

Friday, November 27, 2009

nice parking job, asshole



the only thing that would make this parking job more inconsiderate is if it was a wheelchair spot...

FAIL

quicy updates

quincy usually only has one job in the office... begging for food. our fav homee came by the office the other day and brought some kick ass cupcakes... as i was passing them out, i felt a presence near me... like someone staring at me...



figures, it was quincy looming in the background. if you don't share, he'll just eat the cupcake wrapper out of the garbage. gross.

so now we've found quincy an actual job in the office... message dog. i think he's taken to it quite well.



"don't buy lunch without me" - C

"your sister called" - N

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

while on the topic...



what is going on with this mannequin's pose? why are they promoting the crotch at Forever 21?

meh, why not i guess...

creeping Ms. Jameson

so yeah... back from cali for sales meetings and have a couple updates...

*in Forever 21 w andrea aka gary*

her: "hey... that chick over there looks like a blow up doll..."

me: "yeah, she does..." *double take*


me: "ummm... i think thats Jenna Jameson"


after some deliberation, we come to the conclusion that it IS Ms. Jameson... fascinated by her, for whatever reason, i creep on her in the store like some weak ass paparazzi with my Blackberry camera... see below:



this wasn't good enough, we needed her fabulous shoes in the pic and this wasn't gonna cut it. the last thing i need is to get caught, yelled at, then end up on TMZ. so we had a different plan... help Ms. Ortiz with a size she needed from the top shelf... and trade her for a picture for my "BOYFRIEND" who is a "big fan" (my imaginary boyfriend is a better story than... lets say... me being a big fan?! ew.)

anyways. end result below:



she's nice... very little... and loves F21... the end!

(i think that is the only thing she and i have in common :S)

Monday, November 16, 2009

FAIL

i'm not shocked when i see teenagers or college students out in their flannel pj pants at the grocery store... or even the mall. they are usually worn with uggs too, no?

anyways.

these fashion offenders are usually girls... but look at what i found at my neighbourhood Wal-Mart the other night...



this was a grown ass man in crusty beer bottle flannel pants AND as if to add insult to injury, Crocs.

FAIL

boobs





... chicken boobs to be more specific.

ever since KFC started this whole boneless breast fillet thing, i've been all over it... i had them 4 times last week and started this week off with more... i hope they aren't a limited time offer!

i've never been a huge kfc fan before this (i only like white chicken meat... no bones... former KFC fail) and now i'm all over it. i'm a big coupons fan too... 2 can dine? i'm there!

the meal even comes in a pretty box...

yes, it's true. i posted about kfc.

Monday, November 9, 2009

greedy girl!



since we are on the topic of stuff i want... the new Winter Agent Provocateur stuff is out...

i'd like something (everything?) from the Melody range... or maybe Cheri (has my coveted heart pasties! didn't i ask for these last year and NOT get them?? sigh.)

i don't have to always have the newest stuff tho... my fav collection is The Classics. i already treated myself to 2 pairs of Marilyn tie up panties... i think it's about time the set gets completed, don't you?

;)

mini oink!





so i was watching the Tyra Banks show (what? it's my alone tv time in the office before the boys get here...) and it was about micro pigs! actually, the majority of the show was about tape worms and the dumb ass chicks who wants to intentionally get one just to lose weight... thank god for the cute piggies they had after to make me forget about their stupidness

so... micro pigs. when they are babies, more than one can fit in a teacup... they don't sweat (except from their nose) so they aren't stinky, they are as smart as most primates/monkeys, can be taught to do tricks AND they can be litter box trained... whats not to like?

christmas is coming up soon... i would like to order a micro pig, with a side of puppy.

thanks!

Monday, November 2, 2009

THIS was a wig?!



ok umm... i'm not mad at you for having issues (losing hair, going bald, whatever)... BUT really? THIS IS YOUR WIG? you wore a wig mullet all that time!??!?!?!?!!!!!!

... geez, maybe it was the crystal meth

XBABEX



you know... most people that have plates like "HTSTUFF" "SX-E" "QT69" are generally not that cute.

... kinda like the balding guy in the convertible BMW. trying to make up for it isn't fooling us...

FAIL

halloween nails



..... these are my mermaid-esque halloween nails. chrome and jewels... kinda like buried treasure... huh, huh? they took a while to create and even longer to take off...

anyways, i liked them :)

... mermaid-tastic!

... aaaaaaand i'm back!

halloween 2009... i knew i couldn't miss out, because halloween is my christmas (sorry, Jesus)

my costume was a last min DIY project, but i was pretty happy about it's outcome... went to some weak ass party, but i was in good company. the universe worked things out

shout outs to melissa's cleavage and the 239847339387203023957 Lady GaGas

















Thursday, October 22, 2009

it's been a long time...



... since i blogged and/or picture crashed. sorry lissa, i had to do it ;)

picture courtesy of Will ;)