message to the fellas

if you are trying to pick up a girl, telling her you are on drugs in the first 5 minutes of conversation is kind of a mood killer

*based on a true story*

hump yo couch!

American Dad take on the original ottoman humpers...





wow.

how to not get a job 101

*talking to someone who wandered into the office looking for a job*

me: "so, do you have a resume?"

them: "... no, i'm so over resumes"

... next.

not really my kind of video game...

really? i came across this costume when i was looking for Halloween inspiration...

that poor ghost. he would have been better off getting caught by Pac Man...

next!

denied!

riddle me this...

why would you think i wouldn't reject your friend request on Facebook (3 times, no less), if i rejected your friendship in real life?

calling all bearded men...

"i am the queen of vagina, i am the queen of promiscuous, i am the queen of genita..."

*sway back and forth, fan private parts*

!!!!!!!!!!

"time" to waste your money!

my lazy saturday has been consisting of... online trolling & shopping... and tv.

i have a tradition of watching the biography channel on saturday for a few hours. they play a slew of horrible reality shows one after another... and i love it.

but the commercials are usually a bunch of annoying infomercials. this is where i was first introduced to the infamous Slap Chop, Bumpits and Perfect Brownie (btw, I won't deny the fact that Perfect Brownie has become an integral part of our household)

then i saw the Horse Clock. halfway through the commercial i really thought this was a joke. this was SNL skit quality in the making... no?!

WHO THE HELL WILL BUY THIS PIECE OF CRAP?

sorry if you really like horses, or clocks, or wasting your money... but, c'mon!

what is wrong with this...

coming from a 28 yr old...

"oh Justin Bieber! he's so cute... he reminds me of that lesbian i liked from the Tila Tequila show"

:S

who says that????

just for kicks though...


come to think of it... maybe she was on to something... ha ha ha

bulletproof

i was in the mall and saw this asian dude sitting at a table with his super normal friends... i'm emphasizing their normalcy because he was wearing a fake bulletproof vest and a weak ass silver (metal) chain.

guys still do this? YOU ARE NOT 50 CENT

... even he has the sense not to walk around like this anymore.

i bet he was trying to protect his KFC

i saw a woman who looks exactly Brian Setzer

ok yeah, you don't have to know who Brian Setzer is.... who cares. the big issue is that i saw a chick that looked just like him yesterday. hair and everything. kinda dressed like him too... uhh, ok really random/pointless post

nice parking job, asshole

the only thing that would make this parking job more inconsiderate is if it was a wheelchair spot...

FAIL

while on the topic...

what is going on with this mannequin's pose? why are they promoting the crotch at Forever 21?

meh, why not i guess...

FAIL

i'm not shocked when i see teenagers or college students out in their flannel pj pants at the grocery store... or even the mall. they are usually worn with uggs too, no?

anyways.

these fashion offenders are usually girls... but look at what i found at my neighbourhood Wal-Mart the other night...



this was a grown ass man in crusty beer bottle flannel pants AND as if to add insult to injury, Crocs.

FAIL

THIS was a wig?!

ok umm... i'm not mad at you for having issues (losing hair, going bald, whatever)... BUT really? THIS IS YOUR WIG? you wore a wig mullet all that time!??!?!?!?!!!!!!

... geez, maybe it was the crystal meth

SMOOTTH

so yeah. personalized plates. if you can't get exactly what you wanted to get... don't compromise spelling just to get close to it. sooo not "SMOOTTH" buddy.

FAIL

BB sniper

ok, i don't talk much on my BB... but i am a picture sniper. don't do anything i would deem embarassing or weak ass in my presence... because i will capture you and share.

2 examples?

while shopping in the TSC Outlet (The Shopping Channel clearance outlet... shuttup, they have sheets for good prices!), i saw the below. the most hideous gold pants, EVER. this woman was just eating them up and letting us all see it... complete with mom jeans butt.



below? my combat class instructor's bum. it's kinda big for a gym instructor, no? seems like a contradiction. ok, i'm mean, so kill me for it (maybe i should go stand at my bus stop, see post below)

You know you are in a bad area when....

bus stop garbage cans usually have real estate ads... sometimes restaurants... tv advertisements, etc.

mine advertises 911.

so not only do i run the risk of missing the bus, but i could also get capped.

Butt Pumps!

road trips are always fun with Seven. we see some... interesting things.

did it ever occur to these people that their business name is a little... whats the word...

Yesterday.

"hey guys, do you have a pin or scissors or something? i got corn stuck in my keyboard..."

*Offshoot laughs at me*

"ok, this isn't as bad as the time the earwig lived under my keys for an hour, i couldn't work!!!!"

Panty dropper

i was in scarborough this morning, merchandising at a store... when i came across this mannequin in a window... something is a little... off? (and no, i'm not referring to the ugly shoes in the poster)